He doesn't mean, like, he loves it when someone reads him his own books. And he explicitly says that he just LOVES listening to the audio versions of his books. Me: You know, in the audio version of The Fault in Our Stars, at the end, there's an interview with him. How dare you talk about him like you know him. Just to see exactly how awesome they are. I bet you anything he re-reads his own books. VH: What author doesn't like the characters of their own book? It's pretentious and unbelievable, AND besides, you can totally see that John Green loves the characters.
Me: My point is, the dialogues are horrible. Me: Can you say metaphor again? Say metaphor one more time! Go ahead, say it, I think John Green hasn't totally forced it down my throat yet! *hysterical yelling* LET'S SAY IT AGAIN! Metaphor! Everything is a METAPHOR! “I’m a big believer in metaphor, Hazel Grace.” “You choose your behaviors based on their metaphorical resonances.” I said. It's terrible, it's not funny, and it's not deep. Me: Is this supposed to be smart? This is pathetic. It’s a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.” “They don’t kill you unless you light them,” he said. What about Augustus and his unlit cigarette? How am I supposed to discuss with someone who's got the intellectual depth of an empty oyster? VH: SHUT UP, I get it! There's no discussion with you. *nods wisely* Because that's the thing about tears. VH: What now? You're gonna say that it's so pretentious it made you cry? Me: Save yourself the effort, I don't mind. I don't even want to explain to you how poetic this is, because I'd waste my time. Like, thoughts so deep they actually deserve to be compared to the firmament. *fails miserably* HAHAHAHA how more pretentious can you get? Comparing your thoughts to stars? REALLY? Me: Well.*tries really hard to refrain from laughing* I mean. Listen to this! “My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.” Me: What was that? Actually, forget it, I don't give a shit. Well, you realize that it just, you know, sucks. The quotes which are totally overrated and everyone loves them and they create pics and stuff when really, if you think about the quote in itself. Because it is! Come on, did you read the dialogues in this? Can we talk about the dialogues? I want to talk about the dialogues. Why would you give it only 3 stars anyway? Don't you have a heart? And why 3 stars? I know you really loved the book, deep down! I'm not even sure the Goodreads community actually cares. Me: Nobody but the Goodreads community actually cares. VH: It's got one of the highest general ratings for a book on Goodreads! VH: It won the Goodreads award for best YA! And they used so many sobbing gifs! Really, it made me cry a little just looking at them. VH: But why would you even do that in the first place? EVERYONE, and I do mean EVERYONE in your friend list gave it 5 stars. It's not like I'm giving it 1 star or something. Me: Really, what the fuck do I care? I want to give this 3 stars. Believe me, you do NOT want to get in the way of those crazy fans, nerdfighters or whatever it is they call themselves. It's not just random book that you can critize like you do all the time and just get away with it. Me: Why should I care? Maybe some people think like me. Do you have any idea how popular this book is? Hint : YOU CAN'T EVEN GUESS. You can't post that on Goodreads.Ī voice in my head (aka VH): Please, don't. (view spoiler) [A voice in my head: Come on. So a discussion occurred in my head after I rated the book. Me: Why should I care? Maybe some people EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL. Me: *glares* Why not? A voice in my head (aka VH): Please, don't.
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